I kept going through titles as I was trying to find a name for this blog.  They all tended to words of grief, and I had kind of settled in on “Widow’s Walk” based on the title of one of my entries.  I struggled to find a URL that was available, and as I searched, I kept having to mutate the title I had in mind just so I could own that particular web address.  It slowed down the whole process and forced me to think it through.  How clever did I want to be?  How dark did I want to be?  How literal did I want to be?  Meanwhile, the actual design was postponed until I could get this all figured out.

Sometimes having a wrench thrown into something can be a good thing.  Driving on the Cape back to Tennessee from Martha’s Vineyard I could still get the signal of one of mine and Pete’s favorite radio stations WMVY (Vineyard Haven, Mass).  We would listen and make bets on how long it would be before we heard a Van Morrison song.  That station loves Van Morrison, and after years of listening, I’ve begun to like him too.   So as I crossed the Bourne Bridge, I knew my signal strength would give out soon.  Sure enough, on came one of my favorite, movie-theme, Van Morrison songs—“Bright Side Of The Road.”  It made me want to dance and sing along even with this low-grade fever of grief that I carry around.  I listened to the lyrics, “From the dark end of the street, to the bright side of the road,” and it hit me! That’s the blog title!  It’s so much more positive and hopeful than any of my other dreary choices.  And it’s so much more representative of the way Pete and I lived our lives together.  We spent a lot of time over the last five years on the dark end of the street, but we never, ever gave up.  HE never, ever gave up, and we would always find our way to the bright side because we never took our eye off of it for even a second.

As I move through any given day, I can become overwhelmed with how different things are now–with what’s missing and where all the holes are in my heart, but on some days I can genuinely muster up the whole WWPD concept…What Would Pete Do? Often what Pete did in situations of grief or illness was to surround himself with music.  He would play and practice for hours. Or maybe he would listen to music or musicians he’d never heard before and immerse himself in sounds that were unfamiliar, just to see if there was something he could learn.  Sometimes he would decide that he needed to compose, and if he came up with something he really liked, he would say to me, “Hey Erin, check this out.”

So now I have to do what Pete would have done and keep my vision locked into that bright side.  It doesn’t make me any less sad, but it does keep me going, and it keeps me focused on doing positive work to help myself and others.

Is there particular music that you listen to when you need a positive jolt of energy?

BRIGHT SIDE OF THE ROAD

(Van Morrison)

From the dark end of the street

To the bright side of the road

We'll be lovers once again

On the bright side of the road

Little darlin', come with me

Won't you help me share my load

From the dark end of the street

To the bright side of the road

Into this life we're born

Baby sometimes, sometimes we don't know why

And time seems to go by so fast

In the twinkling of an eye

Let's enjoy it while we can

Won't you help me share my load

From the dark end of the street

To the bright side of the road